Alcohol

Okay, so don’t get me wrong.

I like my alcohol. I like wine, fruity mixed drinks, champagne, and light beer.

I like parties with friends and nights out on the town.

I like wine with my cheese. Mimosas with my brunch. Beer with my football. You know, the normal.

I don’t like crazy young drunk people harassing me when I’m trying to watch a concert. (And yes, I did have a beer in my hand at the time!)

First of all, the Brad Paisley concert was fantabulous! Always love him and he played most of my faves. Only “We Danced” was missing! Even “Whiskey Lullaby” was there, so I was a happy camper.

Here I am with my friends at the concert. YAY! So fun.

But…

About halfway through Brad Paisley we had a not-so-pleasant encounter with young drunk boys, who pointed out that they were “from Tallahassee.” Oh, do you mean Tall-a-trashy?!?! Because y’all sure were trashy rednecks.  In American flag skinny shorts, with a HUGGGGGGE wad a dip in their mouths (and, I might add, not a cup to spit in in sight), this young stupid foursome decided the best way to entertain themselves–instead of watching the concert–was to flirt with us, yell at us, try to hump us (no joke), and generally invade our personal bubble to the max. They were so stupid that they kept trying to put one another on top of their shoulders, hugging each other, falling over, spilling beer, and, again, trying to HUMP US!!!

So my friend’s boyfriend yelled at them to leave us alone because we were trying to watch a concert. We were! I missed a whole couple of songs because we were dealing with these jerk-faces from Tall-a-trashy. And they were so loud I couldn’t even *hear* Mr. Brad Paisley! Grrrr.

But, when the humpy one came near me again with his pelvis aimed towards me and his golf-ball sized dip in his mouth, I did something I’d never done to a guy before….I  told him to leave us alone and… gave him the middle finger! And you know what? It was beyond satisfying.

We ignored them and eventually after that they went away to harass some other girls. I wish they’d been kicked out.

But it was soooo annoying! Shouldn’t there be some kind of etiquette rules for drinking at a concert?  In Brad Paisley’s super fun song “Alcohol” he says “I can bet you a drink or two that I can make you put that lampshade on your head!” These were the stupid lampshade wearing drunks. But it made me want to take my own beer and pour it over their heads and punch them in the face. Not good!

Have you had a horror story with weirdos at a concert? What do you do when redneck drunk twenty-year olds keep trying to, for serious, come up next to you and HUMP YOU WITHOUT YOUR INTEREST OR PERMISSION??????? Eeeeewwwwww. That was so rude and creepy. And also totally disrespectful. Thank goodness my friend has an authoritative and big boyfriend who sent them away.

And I gave Mr. Humper the finger.  That felt sooo good.  I just hope he didn’t date rape any girls that night.  He seemed the kind that would. Creeper!

I do still like Brad’s alcohol song, but it is true, alcohol can make some creepy people even more dumb and creepy.

If you’ve never heard or seen it, check it out:


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