To catch a (basil) Thief
|See how the basil has been snapped off? Or cut?|
Dear Basil Thief,
I know you live in my building. I know you’ve stolen the best part of my basil plant. How? BECAUSE I WATER MY PLANT EVERY DAY. And I see where you nip nip NIPPED off the very best leaves and whole top part of my plant. Who does that? Seriously, if you had knocked on my door I *may* have let you have a few leaves. Not those leaves, but some. And get your own darn basil plant. They are only $5 or less! Don’t steal my basil.
I know you are going to come back, you nervy neighbor. I know you have to live in my building–since we have a gated apartment complex. And I know I am predisposed to think you are a jerk. I’m a nice person–I would have helped you acquire basil if you so desperately need it and ran out. But to find my apartment (which is off the beaten path btw) and steal from me, that’s just pathetic. Not too mention rude. Also, there’s a Publix grocery store *LITERALLY* across the street. That’s just lazy.
So I’m going to leave a sign for you. “DO NOT TAKE MY BASIL.” Can you read? Will you get that? And you sure as heck better not steal my basil again. I *will* catch you. Don’t just take what you want. You may seem to think that’s the way the world works now-a-days, but I still have morals. It’s rude to steal from other people–even if it is just their basil. So don’t… Mmmkay?
Please be nicer from now on. Pretty please.
Oh…and I hear there is this thing called Karma?
The Unopenable Jar
Dear Hearts of Palm Jar,
You are the most stubborn jar on the planet. After my post “How to Open a Stuck Jar,” I received an outpouring of advice from friends on how to tackle you. I tried hitting with knifes (again.) Running under hot water (again.) Even putting you in the freezer for a few minutes before running you under hot water. Every trick in the book. And still….Nothing.
You will not open.
And so, dear jar, I shall let you be. You will sit on my shelf for now. And I will wait until someone with bigger hands comes around and takes a stab at you. Let it be known, however, that when he/she opens in the jar–it will only be because I loosened you up!
The Facebook Rants
Dear Facebook Friends,
I am aware that it is election season. Thank goodness there are only two more weeks. Because I can’t take it any more. I know I posted that I’d be happier with political posts than Facebook Love Gushing, but can I take that back? Y’all are turning into a bunch of idiots. And it’s not one side or the other. It’s both. And I can’t take it any longer. So much anger, hate, and bigotry crossing my screen. Day after day.
Please stop making fun of other parties. Please stop using hating words about your friends. Please stop calling different candidates names. Please stop judging based on looks or names. Please stop hating on one another.
On November 7th, we are still a country. We are still a community. We are all still (I hope) facebook friends. So even in an election period. LEARN TO PLAY NICE.
We would not ask our children to treat one another the way BOTH PARTIES and individuals from ALL SIDES have been acting over the past few weeks. Why are we acting this way as adults? It’s uncalled for. It makes you all appear ignorant and uninformed. And it’s just plain mean.
So stop. Please. I ask you. Find peace. Find the actual arguments, if you are so keen to fight. But leave the childish name calling behind. Leave the judging on fashion choices behind. Leave the making fun of names or backgrounds behind. Leave behind the rude digs about issues bigger than politics. Stop. Think. We would not say such things about people from other religions. So do not say such things now. It makes me think poorly of you, all of you. The Civil War ended in 1865, remember? We are not supposed to fight brother against brother any longer. Peace out!!
All it reminds me of are things that are scary. If people can believe and say such hateful things of their peers and neighbors during this supposedly “enlightened” election season, I know have insight into how so many of the great world horrors have happened. Don’t like what someone believes about xyz? She’s a witch! Burn her, burn her! Does so and so have the wrong tie on? Oh look, that’s how they chose to guillotine people during the French Revolution–for wearing the wrong colored cockade. And, out of sheer horror, I shall not comment on the awful similarities in facebook posts to statements made in Natzi Germany. No side is innocent. Y’all are *all* being unreasonable.
So dear friends, instead of being hateful, find peace. Do some historical research so you can understand the enormity of your statements and, perhaps, find the horrific similarities that I found.
I leave you with these quotes:
“Whenever you are confronted with an opponent, conquer him with love.” -Gandhi
“The best way to destroy an enemy is to make him your friend.” -Abraham Lincoln
“The Constitution only guarantees Americans the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself.” -Benjamin Franklin
“Nothing gives one person so much advantage over another as to remain always cool and unruffled under all circumstances.” -Thomas Jefferson
“If you want to make peace with your enemy, you have to work with your enemy. Then he becomes your partner.” -Nelson Mandela
“Peace Begins with a Smile.” -Mother Theresa
And so, I follow the advice of the Dalai Lama, who advises us to first make peace with others, in order to understand for yourself. If I wish to heal my own anger at the way people are reacting to the current election, I must try to heal the anger in others. So I ask you all to see if you can’t let go. Find love. Think before judging. Pause before posting. Smile first. Even if you don’t feel like smiling.
Let go the anger. Let in the light.
Remember, we will all still be here on November 7th.
Let’s be friends.