Handling Those Hair-Pulling Feelings of Frustration
Sometimes, this is me:
You can’t tell it on the outside. But that’s how I feel on the inside.
Sometimes, I want to pull my hair out.
I know, this may come as a bit of a shock to you.
That positive, perky, bubbly girl gets frustrated and annoyed?
Especially when faced with idiocy, rudeness, and disrespect.
And, interestingly enough, as I continue in my #40digitaldays and #365yoga, the things that annoy me stand out more. I want to wave a magic wand and get rid of everyone who continually behaves in an asinine manner or is mean and disrespectful to me and/or my time.
I really wish I had that magic wand. I wish that all the time, life was like:
WOOHOOOO! I’M KING OF THE WORLD!!
Only, you know, there is the Titanic ending and all. Life isn’t all sunshine and puppies, no matter how much I wish it to be so.
And, alas, there is no magic cure-all. BUT there’s the ability to handle and experience these emotions. My meditation practice teaches that, when faced with anger and frustration–the best course of action is to feel it. Then let it go.
Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I HATE feeling angry.
I HATE feeling frustrated.
I HATE feeling annoyed.
I even hate feeling sad.
But it’s okay to do so. These emotions are normal. It would be ab-normal NOT to experience them.
And then the trickiest part? Not only do you have to FEEL the icky stuff, but then you have to let whatever it is go!
There’s really only two healthy solutions to these uncomfortable emotions:
1. Feeling it and letting it pass
2. Feeling it, letting it pass, and doing something about it when it is in your power to do so, so that you don’t keep facing the same ridiculous thing over and over and over again.
But in either scenario, you have to let yourself fully experience the unpleasant and negative emotion.
It’s like doing a yoga pose you hate. (Come on, we all have them.) The pose will never get any better unless you actually breathe and experience the pose. And once you experience the pose, you can get deeper and explore the next level of the hip opener/heart opener/breath/whatever it may be.
And if the unpleasant feeling is caused by someone else? Well then, as Mastin Kipp said on Monday’s The Daily Love “you have the power to say ENOUGH–and design a boundary so that YOU can create.” Mastin’s post was on creative energy, but the same principle applies to life. We, to a certain extent, can control how others treat us. But only if we first let ourselves feel how other individuals affect us. (And maybe for you, the problem isn’t feeling anger, maybe the problem is feeling the happy moments? It’s different for us all.)
So, starting today, I know I will continue to face those hair-pulling moments. And when something bugs me, I am not going to pretend that it doesn’t. I’m going to feel that emotion, no matter how unwanted it may be, and then I will let it go. And if it’s my power to do something about it, I will politely and nicely, change the situation around and let others know how I’d like to be treated.
What about you? What happens if you start to feel the emotions that make you uncomfortable? Are you fully experiencing the good and the bad of life? Are you respecting yourself enough to be in the happy moments and the OH MY GOD WHY IS EVERYTHING GOING SO WRONG moments? Are you aware of how you feel in line at Starbucks, during your interactions with your co-workers or boss, on the phone with your family, or even your social media circle? Can you feel how those moments and people affect you–and then let that emotion go??