Stop Rowing the Boat

“You need not leave your room.  Remain sitting at your table and listen.  You need not even listen, simply wait.  You need not even wait, just learn to become quiet, and still, and solitary.  The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked.  It has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.”
— Franz Kafka

Why is it so hard for us to stop going going going…gone?!

Relinquishing control.

We know it’s good for us, but we can’t seem to do it.

One half our mind goes “yes, that’s what I need.” And then the other half and the body run the opposite way, like a little kid with his hands over his ears screaming “No no no!!!”

We resist.

We fight.

We do everything in our power to NOT let go.

And I’m changing.

Starting today.

I’m giving in to doing… nothing.

I am going to be the passenger in my own canoe and, for once in my life, let the waves carry me down.

I am going to get down with the silence of just being.

It doesn’t mean I’m going to become a doormat.  I am just going to pause, listen, and see what the silence tells me to do.

It started in my yoga class this week. I taught and ooey gooey restorative yoga workshop with props:

Supported balasana (child’s pose) with blankets and bolster. YUMMMMMMY!

And as I read the  Franz Kafka quote at the top of this post, I had a HOLY CRAP moment!

LIGHT BULB MOMENT!

Although I was instructing my students to let go, I was holding on like crazy.

I talk a big talk about letting go, but I don’t really do it.

I love to be in control.

I sometimes get frustrated, cranky, or annoyed when I am not.

And that has got to stop.

Starting now.

My mind has been keeping me from letting go to the beauty of life.  To finding a new journey. To seeing new landscapes. To trying what hasn’t been tried before.

Being present and aware is one thing. But letting go in the present is another thing entirely.

It’s petrifying.

And I am giving it a shot.

I am putting down my metaphorical oars.

For the next while (maybe forever?!?), I am going to let the waters of life take me where they will. Let others pick up the oars for me when needed. Trust to the unknown.

It’s gonna be okay.

But y’all, letting go and trusting the flow is awfully scary.

Do you want to try it with me?

Supported viparina karani (legs up the wall) with bolster, blanket, and strap around thighs.

5 Comments

  1. Jenna {Real Simple Girl} April 8, 2013 9:15 pm  Reply

    It’s very hard to do, but letting go is so important because so many things are out of our control.

  2. yogainbloom April 11, 2013 8:18 am  Reply

    This made me run to read my Thoreau. I think you describe something that is a combination of both writers: letting go, and going out to the natural world and embracing it completely (to paraphrases badly). That’s where your journey begins. Found this: “We can never have enough of nature. We must be refreshed by the sight of inexhaustible vigor, vast and Titanic features, the sea-coast with its wrecks, the wilderness with its living and its decaying trees, the thunder cloud, and the rain which lasts three weeks and produces freshets. We need to witness our own limits transgressed, and some life pasturing freely where we never wander.” Thoreau. Very exciting.

    • Lora (Daily Southern Sunshine) April 11, 2013 12:40 pm  Reply

      OOH! I love love love that quote. I will have to do a whole post based on my response to that quote. Love it and LOVE Thoreau.

  3. Anne ~ Freedom Yoga June 8, 2013 2:28 pm  Reply

    YES! YES! YES! Whenever I’m feeling that holding on in my life I lay back on a bolster in Supported Fish with the bolster right along my spine….it opens my heart & relaxes me instantly…It makes me release & accept what is happening in that very moment…Ahhhhhh

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