You can do it! And why you need to be reminded that you’re fantastic!
As we gathered in my courtyard dining on breakfast for dinner, a friend of mine asked, “will you be at my triathlon cheer station?”
Yes! We all replied, without hesitation. (We are not yet cool enough to try a triathlon! Those are so very hard!)
“It will mean so much to have you cheer me on,” my friend replied, smiling.
Of course we will cheer.
Because we understand the power of positive reinforcement.
Sometimes, all you need, is for someone to tell you “Good job! You’re doing great! You can do it!!”
As humans, we need that physical or metaphorical pat on the back and encouragement to help spur us to greater success.
Recently, however, I have been hearing horror stories from friends.
They have not been riding the positivity train. Instead, they are feeling down. They are drained. They are exhausted physically and mentally from stress. They are feeling downtrodden. They are feeling disrespected. Mostly, they are feeling like they are total and complete poop. Because that is what they are being told. From trainers, from managers at work, from co-workers, from teachers, from students.
Instead of being told the positive and provided with encouragement, our world has jumped straight to the bucket of “YOU SUCK!”
Positive reinforcement is forgotten and inspiration and instead try to lead through belittling, bullying, distrust, scare tactics, the creation of stress, embarrassment, and the withholding of praise. We are constantly told the NEGATIVE, that we are inherently BAD, that we SUCK, that we just AREN’T GOOD ENOUGH or AREN’T DOING WELL.
That’s supposed to be motivating?
You cannot forge lasting greatness built on fear and negativity. While a bootcamp instructor telling you “you’re terrible” may get you to do a few extra push-ups that ONE time–how long before you quit the class? How long before you begin to feel resentful towards the others in the class, towards the instructor, towards yourself? How long before you repeat the mantra and start to even, egads, tell yourself “I’m not good enough?” or “I can’t do ANYTHING right?”
Willie Nelson once said “Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.”
We need to know that YES, YOU CAN DO IT!
As individuals, as friends, as coworkers, managers, teachers, students, we need to tell everyone else YES, YOU CAN DO IT, TOO!!!
I can’t change your boss or your parent or whomever in your life is creating a negative bullying environment. (Though I can say that in general every single HR survey, psychology review, parenting magazine, etc. backs me up to say that the best way to lead is through PRAISE, POSITIVITY, PUBLIC SUPPORT, and PERPETUAL ENCOURAGEMENT.) But I can tell you this:
YOU CAN DO IT! And if you aren’t reminded why on a continual basis, create your own network for encouragement.
Help your friends with their personal project or life goal. Remind them that they are on the right track, if they fall–tell them “it’s okay, you got it next time,” lend a helping hand, pull them up when they are down, and remember to say “YOU ROCK” as often as possible.
Once you start reminding OTHERS that they are awesome, you will find that they, in turn, will begin to remind YOU how great and amazing YOU TRULY ARE!!!
But we can all be pretty awesome.
And can strive to do our best.
We just need support and positivity.
So I am telling you, right now. No matter what someone else has said, no matter what that nagging voice in the back of your head likes to tell you, no matter how NEGATIVE a situation has become,
YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!!!!!
You are AWESOME and AMAZING and GREAT!!! GOOD FOR YOU for BEING YOU!!! KEEP IT UP!!!!!!
YES, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!