Do you know your edge?
How often, in sports, do we try to PUSH faster, further, longer?
How often, in life, do we GO GO GO GO without stopping?
Y’all, it’s safe to say, I have finally learned my edge.
The car accident was illuminating.
Firstly, it taught me that I was going wayyyyy crazy in life, work, etc. Not pursuing my goals. Going “too fast.” Unfocused. Unhappy. Over-committed. Overly tired. Not living my life to the fullest. Focusing on things to make other people happy, but not to make ME happy. Devoting too much energy to things that didn’t matter–and not enough energy to things that do matter. Working too hard for too little reward. Trying to please everyone, but forgetting to relax, let go, and make myself happy.
The car accident literally forced me to STEP BACK. To take in life. To appreciate my friends. To re-evaluate what makes me happy. And to take positive steps towards making my life fuller, better, more complete. To let go of all the junk and let in the possibility for awesomeness. To admit when I am doing too much, going too far, working to the extreme. Yes, I have learned to stop at the edge before I fall off the cliff.
The same applies for my athletic activities. I went for my first “successful” run yesterday. It was only a little more than two miles. It took longer than twenty minutes. I could have run further. I could have run faster. But had I done any of those things, I would have gone past my edge. I would have pushed my body further than was healthy for the sake of my EGO. So, despite wanting and wishing to go faster, to run longer, to put more EFFORT into my first workout back. I stopped. I walked home. I showered. I threw in the towel before I got to my edge, so that the next time I run I will be able to run further, faster, and with a touch more mileage. Because I allowed my body to heal without over-exerting myself.
And if you wanted proof that listening to my body was a good idea, just check out this shot. There were tornadoes and water spouts all over town. If I had been on one of my training runs for a half or full marathon, I would have been caught out in it! This picture is from my building:
In yoga, I’ve also been having a most humbling physical and mental experience. As you read when I in my blog post on the Kathryn Budig workshop, I have been unable to do basic yoga postures. I could let my ego get me down. I could try to do things even though I know they “hurt.” I could take up the slogan “no pain, no gain” and try to push THROUGH the pain. But I would only cause more pain, hurt, and injuries in the long run. No, the trick is to admit what I cannot do. Find what I can do and work on that. And slowly allow myself to become reacquainted with the yoga poses I love.
I’ve been getting to know myself in a lot of restorative postures, like legs-up-the-wall:
Do you tend to push past your edge? Can you find the time to slow down? Do you even know what your edge is? Or, like me, do you find yourself ignoring the edge and just GO GO GO GOING until something (in my case, another motor vehicle), literally SMACKS INTO YOU to knock you to your senses?