Adult Mean Girls
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”
~ Eleanor Roosevelt
Just yesterday, I witnessed a group of grown-up “mean girls.”
Adult mean girls.
Yes, that’s right.
Women aged 25-65 rudely gossiping and putting down other people.
These ladies made Lindsay Lohan’s movie crew look tame.
They bad-mouthed everyone and everything. Including, yours truly. (FYI: whispers carry! Then again, I’m pretty sure they already knew that and whispered extra loudly on purpose…)
At first, I got really hurt.
Then, I felt mad.
Then, I only felt sorrow for the women…and joy that I am not a member of their ranks.
And I could a) let them hurt me and make me miserable or b) smile, nod, and MOVE ON.
I can choose to let people hurt me, or I can choose to let them make me stronger. To have their mean-ness help me to be a bigger, fuller, better ME.
I am sensitive and, as Jewel sang in the 1990s, “I’d like to stay that way.”
So I can’t pretend that their words didn’t hurt me. I’m sorry if I don’t want to be a part of your clique. I’m sorry that I have friends, a social life, am healthy, and have life aspirations. I’m sorry that I’m thinner than you, prettier on the inside (and out!), and smile naturally. Maybe I wouldn’t be PRETTIER than you MEAN LADIES if you took time to make yourself happy instead of trying to make other people feel bad.
Mean girls grow up to be mean adults.
But… at any point… you have the choice. And I am glad that, back in 1996, I learned that mean girls don’t have to be mean. I learned that while it’s ok to feel hurt by what mean girls do or say, it’s another thing to let those meanies affect you and make you feel bad about yourself.
So now that I see these mean girls as adults? I walk away. I smile. I try to be extra nice to them to lead by example. I feel sorry for them. I keep on being the most awesome me that I can be…and if I hear them talking smack about someone, I make sure to be extra nice to whomever they are talking smack about. Occassionally, if mean girls are dissing my friends–I will fight them on it. (Because I will ALWAYS stand up for the people I love.) And I will let them go. I will intentionally NOT be friends with mean girls. I will NOT hang out with mean girls. Because the world is negative enough…
And at the end of the day…I pray for the mean girls. And hope that they find the strength to abandon their mean girl ways and find real happiness.
Because you win the most when you wish them success. But you have to really mean it. That is the trick. The mean girls may not want YOU to succeed, but you have to 100 % wish them happiness and success.
And then avoid them at all costs like the plague. While I love to have friends, you don’t need everybody to like you. I don’t need everyone to like me. I like me. And that’s enough. (And thankfully I have many amazing friends who think I’m pretty cool, too.)
Have you encountered adult mean girls? Who do you handle them?