Let’s not #banbossy, let’s #passlove
I am going to say something that may risk the roar of negativity from women around the world.
I don’t think bossy is a bad word.
I think Sheryl is MISSING THE POINT. We are focusing on the negative and missing the wondrous positive and a world of possibility.
It is not the fear of being called BOSSY that holds women back in business, I am sorry. You are looking for a SCAPEGOAT Ms. Sandberg and I am not buying. The issue is bigger than you are allowing it to be.
|Bossy Kid. Yes, sometimes this was ME! (Including the pink ensemble.)|
I was called bossy as a child. And you know what? I turned out just fine. Bossy was just a word. It wasn’t an insult. It didn’t stunt my growth, make me afraid to raise my hand, make me afraid to be smart.
I was raised to know that I was beautiful, smart, and capable of greatness.
In fact, if I was called BOSSY it was a good thing.
It brought me back down to myself. It made me considerate of others.
I was never called bossy by men or boys.
I was called bossy by WOMEN and GIRLS.
And justifiably so. Because I was trying to lead unfairly, unjustly, without considering the big picture.
When I was bossy it was, in general, BECAUSE I wasn’t considering how my words and actions were AFFECTING others.
You do not learn to be a good leader by being bossy.
You learn to be a good leader by listening, by being considerate, by being brave.
A word only gives you power if you give it power.
Bossy is just that–a word. It only has power if you GIVE it power. And by blaming the problem with the word BOSSY? We are missing the bigger picture.
I don’t think bossy is a good word. Or a bad word. Bossy is just a word. And sometimes, we need to be told we’re being bossy–because the bigger issue is how we are affecting someone else and making them feel.
Good leaders, strong women, changemakers–we need to be in tune with how we are affecting others. And not just women! Men too! We all need to find the bigger picture.
As a female, I am able to be assertive, decisive AND kind and nurturing. And I am okay with the word “bossy.”
Isn’t that a better leader? One who accepts her strengths and weaknesses? Who doesn’t look for excuses, look to place the blame, but accepts things at face value?
Without the fear. Sometimes, I want to be demure. And sometimes, I put my bossypants on. And that is the beauty–to be okay with both ends of the spectrum.
Where’s the balance Sheryl?
A word is just a word. This is getting out of control. We are finding every excuse, creating a media frenzy–to try and place the blame where it does not belong. Because we are so comfortable focusing on the negative and what we DON’T WANT. That we forget what the real conversation is supposed to be about. We forget what we DO WANT, the positive, the love.
I have not felt that men have kept me down or prevented me from succeeding. I do not think that women are inherently weak. This is not about us vs. them.
It’s about insecurity. And a greater inability to love.
We women are an insecure bunch.
And clearly we are still insecure. The very need to create a website to ban the word “bossy” shows you just how INSECURE we are. How riddled in negativity and doubt we let ourselves be.
Please, women, LET GO THE FEAR!!!! It is not the words, but the fear you are giving to the words that makes them powerful. And only you–the individual–can decide whether or not the word has power over you. YOU ARE THE MASTER OF YOURSELF, not someone else.
Aggressive, bossy, assertive, ambitious. All of these things can be good at times. And all of them can be bad in excess.
We need balance.
Sheryl…. I’m a strong women AND I’m different than you. I bet I’m not alone. I played in mud puddles and I had the best doll collection ever. My favorite color is pink, but if I were to be a super hero I’d want to be one like Buffy the Vampire Slayer–who looks cute but also throws a mean punch.
I want to be girly AND I want to lead. And I want to do it all from a place of love and compassion.
Where do I fit in Sheryl?
I think bossy is ok. I think being girly is ok. I think being strong is good. I think being demur can be appropriate at times. But I also love to make an impact, to chase strong ideals. I want to make the world a different place and I want to do it by making people more loving, more accepting, more tolerant, and more kind.
And I just feel that I don’t fit into your version of #BanBossy Sheryl. Words are just words. Let’s cut behind the words and look at the real emotions. And the real range of women. Because the issue is so much deeper.
Can’t we be feminine and strong at the same time? Can’t I be good at math AND want to be a good mother? Can’t I love to shop and cook but also love to command a room, to make a strategic plan, to be in charge of my finances? Can’t I have BOTH? And can’t I do it all positively, optimistically, from a place of love?
I believe I can. Moreover, I can have both BECAUSE I won’t ban the word bossy. Because I will be in tune with both sides of myself. And because, over all, I will listen to others and remember and see how my interactions affect them. If we want to ban something, let’s ban insecurity. And that can only happen when we accept all walks of life, all types of emotions, listen to others, and figure out what makes people uncomfortable–and why.
And stop being fearful, attacking, and anxious. Let’s stop being negative.
Let’s find the balance together. Let’s work together. Let’s love together.
And teach our daughters and young women to LOVE first. Because only when you lead from a place of kindness, humility, and love (all very “feminine” traits I may note)–can you truly succeed.
And then you will never “be bossy.” Because true leadership defies such words. True leadership comes from the heart.
Let’s teach girls to be in touch with their hearts instead. And not just girls. Everybody. The time for gender comparison needs to end. Let’s teach all our children to be love leaders.
Get to the heart of the problem.
Don’t just talk about words.
Let’s not ban bossy. Let’s pass love. Universally.
A strong yet feminine woman, who believes in the power of positive thinking