How to Handle Resistance (aka FEAR)
I am a resister!
It’s true, I have a resistance problem. When things make me uncomfortable (which usually means I am AFRAID of them or AFRAID of the uncertainty that they bring), I try to avoid them at all costs.
Things I love to avoid/Used to love to avoid:
- Phone calls (I am scared of the phone)
- Up Escalators/Heights
- Talking about money/bills/financial planning
- Vacuuming & cleaning my home
- Getting out of my comfort zone
- Singing in public (despite being a good singer)
- Going with the flow
- Praying out loud
- Expressing feelings of anger, love, disappointment, sorrow, contentment, my desires, asking for what I want
- Taking a stand–>saying yes and saying no
- Going after my dreams and believing in my self worth
- And those are just a FEW
- Getting up early to work-out/do yoga/go for run
- Eating healthy
Sometimes, resistance is something that can be SOLVED easily without deep emotional examination. For example, someday I am going to hire a maid to clean my toilets. 😉 Usually, however, resistance comes because things make us uncomfortable and are the VERY things we need to grow, thrive, and live our best version of our life.
Resistance is really us being uncomfortable. And that uncomfortable-ness usually is equal to FEAR. We FEAR growth, change, failure, success, and happiness.
I like to undermine my self-worth. Sometimes, I resist something or expressing something because I am afraid I am NOT WORTHY of having so much happiness, joy, love, etc. But I am!! I am afraid to express my needs, go after my dreams, take care of myself, dig deep, because I worry that I could actually succeed–and escaping my comfort zone for something awesome seems petrifying. But guess what? We are all worthy of love, joy, abundance, and awesomeness. We can push through resistance and find our limitlessness.
Also, I resist things that I worry could go badly. I could land on my head in an inversion, I could hurt my neck in a back-bend, if I express my feelings or desires someone could tell me “no.” And so I resist change, resist expression, resist the truth out of a fear of the unknown. A fear of rejection. A fear of success. A fear of failure. But really, just a fear of UNCERTAINTY. If I AVOID things, I think I am safe. I am in control. I can’t get HURT.
But the reality is, in resisting uncertainty–yes we may think we are protecting ourselves from hurt, but really we are hurting ourselves more than we could ever imagine. We are putting a stopper on our capacity for happiness.
The best things in life come from taking risks. From diving into uncertainty. From living in the unknown.
We need to grow, to be uncomfortable, to challenge ourselves, to go THROUGH resistance and discover what is on the other side.
The only way to learn to live with resistance and accept uncertainty is to decide that you will continue DESPITE the fear, the wish to resist, the horrible awkward and uncomfortable feelings. Because even though you feel uncomfortable, scared, anxious, you do the thing that makes you uncomfortable anyway.
And guess what? Once you do it? Once you embrace the resistance? Embrace uncertainty? Allow yourself to feel uncomfortable?
You find something totally new. That emotion passes. The resistance fades.
And you may just find something extraordinary.
So the next time you find yourself resisting. You find yourself holding back. You let FEAR of uncertainty stop you. Take a deep breath. And then go through the resistance. Dive INTO the resistance. Feel uncomfortable. Take a chance. Open your heart. Discover the life of your dreams….That you may never have been able to imagine before.
Uncertainty is life. Breathe it in.
Experience the magic that comes.
“Resistance is a sign that you are growing, or headed towards growth.” – Mastin Kipp
“It’s your right to act upon your thoughts, do what makes you happy and push through resistance. Fear can overcome you, indeed. But not today, not because they said you couldn’t, not because you might fail – NO – but because your happiness demands it of you! This is your time to live, to create, to be something greater than your fear. This is your time to come alive, because you must!” – Mastin Kipp
“You will always have sensation [fear]. But the game is to stay with it – otherwise you will go in your head – and that will be bad news. And if you stay with the sensation and start to increase your tolerance for some vibration, nothing will stop you again.” – Josh Pais
“The darkness has to rise to the surface in order to leave and make room for the light. Remember, though, there’s no way through resistance other than taking action….Action mutes the resistance.” – Kate Northrup