So I don’t normally write super personal blog posts, but sometimes the only option is to write what you know.
Broken hearts are hard. It doesn’t matter the age, the context, whatever. They kinda universally suck.
But there are things we can do to help us mend our broken hearts. And it gets better, I promise.
Here are FIVE WAYS you can help heal your broken heart:
1) Stay present
As tempting as that pint of Ben and Jerry’s is as a way to avoid your feelings, you have to stay present. Cry if you are going to cry. Let the tears flow. If you feel angry, feel angry instead of having a glass of wine or mixed drink. If you want to hole up in your apartment alone, call your friends and get out of the house or have them over. In order to eventually have your broken heart mend, you need to fully feel everything surrounding the broken heart. It will totally suck, but it will allow you to let go of everything so that you can continue to live a full happy life.
2) Get closure & forgive
Talk to the other person in a calm and thoughtful manner. Be honest. Bring closure and avoid ambiguity. Be totally and completely truthful. Most importantly COMMUNICATE. Then… Forgive the person. Forgive yourself. And let go.
You really need to forgive both YOURSELF and forgive the OTHER PERSON if you want your heart to heal. Here is a great post on the Daily Love by Mastin Kipp on Forgiveness. I suggest you check it out if you need more help in this area.
3) Stay fit and healthy
You may not feel like going for your run, going to the gym, or going to your normal yoga class…Do it anyway. You need to eat well and stay healthy. If you know you deal by overexercising, make sure you are honest with yourself and limit your fitness. If you tend to wallow and avoid things like fitness that make you feel more in tune with your emotions, breath, and body–you need those activities more at this point. So get out the door for a run, make yourself a healthy breakfast, and continue your normal fitness regime. Be good to your body and your body will help you heal.
Write, write, write! I recommend 3 pages first thing every morning. Totally free-write and just get your feelings, frustrations, etc. down on paper. Then put the journal away. Do NOT re-read what you write. Just put the pen to paper and express. I do it every morning and throughout the day as needed. If you have never journaled before, journaling after a broken heart is one of the BEST ways to help heal your heart. Give it a shot. You won’t regret it.
5) Remember that everything happens FOR you and not TO you
Even though we can’t see the big picture when we are down in the trenches, remember that everything is happening FOR you. These events may be uncomfortable or upsetting, but everything will help make you the person you are meant to be. Trust that you are exactly where you are meant to be. As unpleasant as the situation may be, it is happening to make you the best you possible and happening FOR you and to help you on your path.
BONUS: Remember that the most important person to love is YOU!
You need to love yourself the most. No one can love you like YOU can. Use your broken heart as a chance to get back in touch with the person inside. To love you more. To recognize that you are awesome. And give yourself some TLC. Because you’re awesome, amazing, and WORTH IT! Love you. Always. #PassLove to you!!!
What am I missing? If you are suffering from a break-up or broken-heart and find this post does not meet your needs or require more, please send me a personal email or comment below. I can always be reached at dailysouthernsunshine (at) gmail (dot) com. I am here to help you on your journey. Mending broken hearts takes time, but loving you, being present with your feelings, communicating, staying healthy, and adopting a positive attitude can transform the attitude you have towards your broken heart. Breathe and know that you are exactly where you are meant to be. Everything will be okay.
Lots of love to you all.