Make Your Own Happy Ending
“For most of life, nothing wonderful happens. If you don’t enjoy getting up and working and finishing your work and sitting down to a meal with family or friends, then the chances are that you’re not going to be very happy. If someone bases his happiness or unhappiness on major events like a great new job, huge amounts of money, a flawlessly happy marriage or a trip to Paris, that person isn’t going to be happy much of the time. If, on the other hand, happiness depends on a good breakfast, flowers in the yard, a drink or a nap, then we are more likely to live with quite a bit of happiness.” -Andy Rooney
Are you letting yourself be happy?
Or are you waiting for your own magical happy ending to occur?
Maybe you tell yourself you’ll be happy when you get career success, when you are debt-free, when you buy a house, when you travel the world, when you have a child or get married, when you achieve a certain level of recognition for your work, when you get that marathon PR, when you finally can hold that handstand in the middle of the room, when you, when you, when you. If only….
What if you throw the “when you”s and “if only”s out the door?
We all have the opportunity to be happy in every given moment. We have the opportunity to find joy in the small things. The big things can bring added joy and satisfaction. But they don’t make up the every day. And if there is something that we aren’t happy with. We have the ability to change it. Maya Angelou said “If you don’t like something, change it. If you can’t change it, change your attitude. Don’t complain.”
Where can you create more happiness? Are you continually telling yourself that you will be happy if only you could take a vacation from work? Figure out how to take a vacation from work NOW. Are you saying “if only” you had a better relationship with your parents, or had actually asked the person out that you’d exchanged numbers with, or had taken that creative writing class in college. It’s not too late. Call up the person. Enroll in a writing class online or at your local community college. Plan a visit to see your family.
You control your happiness. You are just living the path that is here right now, how can you make it more enjoyable? How can you find greater joy? For me, I find I’m instantly happier when I bring fresh flowers home to my kitchen table. When I go for a walk and really look up at the clouds, the trees, the universe. When I hug my friends. Wake up from a good night’s sleep. Smell coffee. Go dancing. Drink good wines with good company. See a show. Visit a museum. Get a photo of my nephew. Talk to a best friend. Run. Take a real inhalation and exhalation. Savasana. Read a good book. Write in my journal. Pay a bill with ease. Fall out of a balancing pose in yoga class. Smile at a stranger. Pet a dog. Sing country songs at the top of my lungs in my car (with the windows rolled up!!). Whenever I am with good people and moving my life in a forward direction that will continue to create greater happiness.
Where is your happiness? Is it in the future? Is it in the past? Is it clouded with worry or doubts, with “if only”s or “when”s?
My challenge to you today…Find the joy in the now. Let go the notion that you don’t have everything you need to be happy. You already have absolutely everything you need for satisfaction in life. And you will keep finding that joy when you get out of your comfort zone, follow up on your intuition, and find the joy in the little steps on the journey…and in the little moments in life.
Make a happy list!
It’s really easy.
1) Write down all the little things that make you happy.
2) Write down all the things that you WISH you were doing (or doing more of) that you think would make you happy.
3) Compare the two.
4) Write a new list that combines all the things that make you happy now and all the things that you know make you happy “if only.” Stick this list on your fridge. Start doing more of your happy things. Every single day.
5) Look at your list every morning. Start DOING the things on your list. Guess what? That probably means you will have to STOP DOING some things that you don’t like. If you really get stuck. Make a stop doing list. Write down all the things you HATE to do or that do NOT bring you joy. Look at them with Maya Angelou’s glasses. Why don’t you like them? Can you change them? If not, can you change your attitude? If you can change your attitude, add the item back to your happiness list. Or maybe you’ve just found a new thing that makes you happy. (I.e. if you hate shopping for new clothes but on your happiness list includes you’d feel happy when you look good and are in clothes that make you feel good…maybe you need to find a shopping buddy! Or hire a personal shopper online, they can be quite cheap. Don’t let the list that makes you feel uncomfortable keep you from living the life you deserve!!)
Now the trick…live your happy list each and every day! And revisit from time to time. Listen to your heart. Follow your intuition. Take chances. Smile more. Laugh every day. Breathe deeply.
We only get one life to live. Make it a happy one. Live your own happy ending each and every single day.
Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!