I can’t get my shadow to stick on
|In our Halloween Costumes! With my friend and fellow blogger Katie (A Full Plate.)|
I guess it is only appropriate, as today is Halloween, for me to feel like Peter Pan.
Today is day 21 of my daily meditation. (See “Healthy Eating, Daily Meditating” for initial post) And I’m not stopping here. I’m going for another 21 days in a row. If it takes 21 days to make a habit, then 42 days must really make sure that habit becomes a reality. That it *sticks*.
21 day meditation results? Methinks the meditation is starting to work.
Okay, let me clarify. Meditation is starting to work in the sense that I am meditating every day. Making it a habit. Getting there and trying.
Not in the sense that I’m becoming Lora, amazing Meditation Master. I wish!
That would be cool. Or even if I became Lora, amazing levitating meditation master. That would be even cooler. Can we work on that please? I want to fly–er levitate. Pretty please?
Still, not there. Someday, right?
21 days of meditation = a success.
But at the same time, it’s leaving me feeling funny.
I guess that’s part of the point.
Meditation is supposed to help you have inner-awareness. Outer-awareness. Overall awareness. Consciousness.
My 21 days of meditation results?
I feel…incomplete. Confused. Scared? Vulnerable. Unsatisfied. Lost? Missing something. Overwhelmed. Underwhelmed. All of the place. Happy. Sad. Lonely. Wanting to be alone. Can you say conflicted much?
It’s like I’m Peter Pan. I can’t get my shadow to stick on. Only, unlike Peter Pan, I don’t know what it is that I’m trying to “stick on.” What would make the complete picture.
So I guess the solution is to keep on truckin’. Keep on meditating. Until it’s firmly fixed in my mind, my life, and my daily routine.
It’s appropriate that my shadow is missing at Halloween. Halloween is about fear. About being someone other than yourself. And for lots of people, Halloween is about acting freaky deaky. Or getting uber drunk (thanks awesomely fratastic boys who visited my building!) and trying to hook up with someone.
But ultimately, Halloween in modern times is about being what you aren’t.
And if you know what you aren’t. What you are afraid of. Well, then, that’s a heck of a lot closer to figuring out what you *are.*
And there’s chocolate at Halloween. Everything is better with chocolate. I mean, I think so many problems and situations can just be solved by chocolate.
And hopefully, while I’m at it, I’ll catch my shadow this Halloween. And once I catch it, I’ll figure out how to keep it. I may not be able to fly (or be that cool levitating meditation whiz) but I can get more insight into me. Get over whatever fears are getting carried away. And breathe.
Here’s to another day of meditation.
Happy Halloween! My the ghoulish holiday help you conquer your own fears–and see through the shadows to learn a little bit more about yourself. With chocolate. MMM. Chocolate…..