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Wobble of a Turkey Toss

This week, I had some firsts:

1. Turkey Toss
2. The Wobble

I tossed a frozen turkey. For serious.

Apparently, this is a common thing. A “turkey toss.” A frozen turkey toss.  I have heard of many things. I have never heard of a Turkey Toss.

But I’m a good sport. It was for a good cause (not smoking!!!) and the students where I work thought it was hysterical.

Somewhere, in the depth of the internet, lives a photo of me.  Dressed in red and black, fierce expression on my face, deep red lipstick (because you have to wear red lipstick, ya know? It just screams “I mean business”), holding a ridiculously heavy frozen turkey. Ready to do battle.

I shall find this photo. And when I do, I shall share it with my blog readers. And together, we will laugh laugh laugh laugh laugh.

Because you know my battle ready face is hysterical.  Especially when holding a turkey.

The 2012 Turkey Toss Competition

The challenge: To throw a frozen turkey as far as possible, with finesse. There was only one try.
Style Mattered. Judges watched.  Scorecards stood by.

Insert NFL theme music.

I walked to the line. I prepared to do my throw.  And then I was told “do the wobble with the turkey! Do the wobble!!!”


Abruptly, I was pulled from my pre-toss concentration.  “What on earth is the wobble?!?!?!”

I looked around, helpless.  The students looked at me like I was a crazy person. How could I not know the wobble? My fellow staff members looked equally shocked.  Apparently, I live in a culture-free zone.

I explained I didn’t know what on earth the wobble is. I attempted to move on with my turkey toss. I did my own little cluck cluck dance. I threw the turkey. It went up…and came down.  Wow, y’all, frozen turkeys are heavy heavy heavy! And I maintain that my focus and artistry were shaken by the pandemonium caused by my oh so clueless lack of “wobble” knowledge.  The judges spoke.  3/5? I only got a 3/5. Alas!

Sadness.  I did not win my first ever turkey toss.  I did not wobble.  But I can say, I have thrown a frozen turkey.  How many of y’all can say that?

And now…

I learned “the wobble.” Well, sort of. I know of “the wobble.” Now. I’m a bit behind the times.

As soon as I didn’t know the dance, I took to the airwaves..The facebook waves, that is.

And… facebook spoke.  I received everything in reply from “it is pretty much the new favorite white people wedding dance” to “you got to wobble and shake it” to  “Um! Hello the wobble is so a year and a half ago ;)” to “you are so far from cultural trends that 12 year olds know the wobble and you have forgotten what youtube is” and one yoga friend who also lived in ignorant bliss with me. But the facebook verdict was that a) I have missed out on a cultural fad and b) lots of people love the wobble.

Okay, I guess I am a bit culturally clueless sometimes.  Though I know a lot about country music? Crap, that probably still counts as culturally clueless to most people. Some day, I am soooo going to be that ridiculously embarrassing dorky mom who bakes cookies, drives and SUV, and doesn’t know what some crazy cool thing is and asks my child about it in front of his friends and mortifies him.  Let’s hope not.  But yeah, probably that will be me.

This was the highest recommended youtube version of “the wobble”:

So I get it. I will learn it. Maybe. If I really have to. But really? Can’t we just go back to the Cupid Shuffle? Or erm… country line dancing? I think I prefer country line dancing. Just sayin’.

You know the Wobble is mainstream when there are a ton of someecards devoted to it:

These people just need to check out the wonders of country music. Then you don’t *have* to learn the Wobble and wait for it to get your dancing on. Or go to zumba. Whichever.

And the only wobbling I plan to do is on Thanksgiving. Thank goodness I won’t have to toss a frozen turkey before I eat!

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